I've got a song to sing

I moved to Austin in 2012, with a vague dream. To write an album. I had just finished a draft of a memoir and I wanted to lighten things up. Have some fun. So I bought a guitar, took a few lessons and as usual got distracted.

I feel like I am back on course after an invigorating song writing workshop at Esalen. I sang in front of people for the first time, then did it again 6 more times and by the end of the workshop, I had to perform a song as our group did a concert.

My first song was a Patty Griffin cover. Florida. I got through it, barely. People in the group were kind, even telling me that I had a nice voice. There were about 20 other songwriters in the group, from professionals to novices and we all went about the week on our assignments creating new songs, working on old ones. I really enjoyed the creative process, even if singing in front of others was daunting and borderline humiliating. The hardest part for me was singing and playing guitar. At my level, the combination of a written song, composed music and singing is a lot. Frankly, I need help.

My songs were on the heavy side, so to lighten it up a bit, I did write a rap song about Catitude.

Somewhere in an alternate universe, there are a group of crazy cat people sitting in a circle, talking about how much catitude they have.

So the night before our performance day, the teacher, Julie Baker challenged me to perform my own song. I really wanted to do a cover! So with the help of a really excellent guitarist Lance, I sat down the next day with what I had to say.

We went through it three times and then show time. Oh man! What a rush, performing a song live, that I made, that people seemed to enjoy. It was such a high. I was so proud of my fellow songwriters too, I thought we put on a great show. It had to be the most eclectic, array of songs combined that I have ever seen. The best part of it, was I felt so connected and happy. Making me realize, this is how I want to connect with others. Music is the most universal, powerful way to connect and I want in.

Cowboy joy!

 

Now, here I am driving back to Austin, one of the musical capitals of the world. I have always loved music, it has been such a force in my life. Falling in love with songs and artists since I was a young boy. There was always a disconnect, I never thought I could do music or be a musician. Something stirred inside my soul this last week.

 

My life used to be easy

things came simple for me

I could sing, I could dance, I could be

Got knocked down to the ground

and lost my voice

forgot how easy things could be

I still don't want to be seen, or heard too much

its painful for me

Still want to run and hide so much

 

But my songs getting louder

I'm getting brighter

I'm feeling stronger

things are getting better

 

and I've got a song to sing, yeah I've got a song to sing

 

I know I need to be brave

learn how to speak

I know I got things to say

Might not be nice

but the truth rarely can be

I still don't want to be seen

 

But my songs getting louder

I'm getting brighter

I'm feeling stronger

things are getting better

and I've got a song to sing, yeah I've got a song to sing

 

People might not like my song

tell me to shut the fuck up

and laugh

doesn't matter to me

if I like my song

and learn how to sing

 

and my songs getting louder

I'm getting brighter

I'm feeling stronger

things are getting better

 

And I've got a song to sing, yeah I've got a song to sing