Deutschland

I went to Germany for the first time in 2010. I visited Berlin and then went to play a tennis competition in Cologne. My trip to Berlin was brief and I fell fast and hard. It was one of those dreams of perfect timing. The weather was ideal and I had been meditating a lot, so my perceptions were open.  I rented a bike and cruised around the city, wanting to take in as much as possible.  I stayed in a hostel in Mitte. The architecture is a mix of old and new, art is everywhere and it's so clean its practically sparkling.

I think this translates to We all remained.  

I was cruising through the city one afternoon and was planning to go to the Zoo or a Frida exhibit when suddenly I found myself in an open square, you see this a lot in European cities, however this square was different as it had abstract slabs of different sizes and shapes. I was magnetized toward it, as I didn't know what it was. As I got closer the strangest thing happened to me, I felt a wave of energy hit me and then I started crying for no apparent reason, so I was very curious now.  What was this strange square with all the shapes.

 

It turned out that it was a Holocaust memorial. I had been to memorials in the States before and never had this reaction. There was a museum underneath that I spent some time in and it further destabilized me. It's hard to wrap my brain around, that this city just not too long ago was decimated and now is thriving and beautiful. I feel the same way about Germany, whatever dark periods in their history, their society has moved forward, learned its lessons and is now one of the most compassionate, intelligent places on the planet. 

In the Tiergarten, an artist has made an exhibition which I love. He has collected 5 gigantic stones from 5 continents. Each one symbolizing something. Europe(awakening) Africa(hope) Asia(forgiveness) America(love) Australia(Peace). Its a strong statement for world peace and the artists life work, as he sailed to all these places and brought these stones back, is truly incredible.

So this was my first trip to Berlin. The past, present and future are all swirling around me. I want Berlin to be my future. I think if Berlin can make something beautiful out of what was lost and destroyed than so can I.

I trained it to Cologne next and got to connect with some of my tennis friends. Cologne was so much fun. They really know how to live in Cologne, its very earthy.  Usually I don't drink, however, I had been strict long enough, so after tennis was over, I let myself go.

This is my good friend from Miami, representing Mexico. We trained a lot together.

This is the magnificent cathedral of Cologne, its central to the city and wasn't destroyed during the war. I think that's where nightcrawler lives.

Thats me and one of my favorite people on the planet, Daniel. My Asian doppelganger. We are actually very different but we both play 2 hands on 2 sides, maybe thats why we always lose. I don't mind losing because I have so much fun with D- and I love him like a brother. We lost 1st round, but I made it to the quarters in singles.

 

The next summer I am headed back to Berlin. I have a longer stay this time. 2 weeks and I sign up for German classes. Its only 2 weeks but I am kind of dipping my toe in. I arrive in the city and its cold and rainy.

 

I train it to Alexanderplatz and walk to Prenzlauer Berg where I have housing through the German school I am attending briefly, GLS. My host is a writer who chainsmokes and speaks perfect English like most Germans. He is very helpful, he is willing to practice with me, but 2 weeks isn't a very long time to learn a very complex language and I can't get past, Wie geht's oder

Welcher sprachen sprigst Du?

How many times can you ask someone how they are or how many languages they speak.

He lives in an old building with high ceilings and huge doorways. He asks me if his apartment disgusts me. I am too polite to say yes. He tells me of his dreams to go back to Africa and invest his money into making crops and helping the economy there. Clearly he is a good person and I like him, I just can't breath in his apartment, its only 2 weeks and forces me to get out and explore.

 

The neighborhood is very convenient, I can walk to class, walk to Alexanderplatz, Mitte.

 My class is extremely international, people from all over. Denmark. Canada. Israel. Spain. Egypt. USA. Its a great place and way to meet people. Our German teachers are so sweet, Meike and Katarina. They are very patient as we butcher. I feel like I am back in high school and full of anxiety and anti-social behavior.

Learning German for 2 weeks is exhausting and although I want to learn the language, I know its not going to be easy. I become friendly with a Turkish lad(Berlin has a huge Turkish population) who works at an internet cafe. He offers me encouragement and good advice.

"You have to talk with ze German people"

I know he's right but this is not the Berlin I remember from a year ago. I am in a different place. Berlin has lost its magic and I feel very lonely. There is so much I love about Berlin, I am just not ready to be there long term. vielleicht später(maybe later).

 

 After 2 weeks, I am ready to leave. I know learning German is going to take some serious commitment, time and energy. I know I can do it and I want to.

I realize that trip that becoming a German citizen is too much of a struggle, maybe I can spend summers there, when the weather is pleasant and I can learn to Sprechen sie Deutsch at my own pace,  write, and bike around the city. Sounds like a dream to me.