I'm not sure if animals are getting more suicidal or if I have spent too much time on the road this year. Talk about road-kill overkill. I even saw a dead beaver. I think I saw a dead bear too, but I may have been hallucinating. I also saw a tremendous amount of eagles and hawks. Living ones. Birds make me happy. I love seeing them fly in patterns. Reminds me of joy. This roadrunner/road dog has packed a lot of driving in this year. I have driven X country 3 times. Including 50 hours in the last week when I drove home for Christmas. Was a great trip. I almost got driven off the road by a mack truck but I made it in tact.
Stopped in Nashville on the way to and from. Also got to see a friend in Asheville. Was an interesting reference point. I stopped in Nashville 2 years ago right before I moved to Austin. I can't believe the 2 year cycle I have been able to create or co-create. It was 2 years of nomad madness. I think I found my home base and I also fell in love with a lot of other places. I don't want to be obnoxious and talk about all the great, amazing experiences I have had. However I am very pleased with my year and feel beyond appreciative for it.
2013 has been good to me and I have really good feelings about 2014. Want to get back into tennis training. Continue with my writing, music and learning German and of course being a nomad. Nothing made me happier to have a place to come home to after Christmas, so I think I am going to keep Austin as a homebase. I love traveling but I have had enough of being suspended in mid air. I am ready to plant some roots. If I need a break, I can hit the road. Go away for a week or two. Find a happy medium.
I have to mention Marion Bartoli winning Wimbledon for a highlight of 2013. The rest of my highlights were very personal, connecting with people, building friendships, realizing the importance of community and feeling more comfortable being known and seen. Reading some great books, listening to terrific music, eating great food. Had my low points too. I think I am getting a hang of this being a human being thing.
Tonight I am going to clean my house and get rid of all the things that aren't serving me and make space for the things I want in my life. I feel really clear about my goals for the year ahead.
2014! I am ready for you. It's time to get to work.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
Get your karma out of my chi
I am really into 2014 right now. However there is still of plenty of 2013 to enjoy, hopefully. I have been reflecting on my year, the people I have met and the experiences I've had. 2013 was incredible. Being in Austin, ending the year here, in my comfortable neighborhood is right where I want to be.
Last year at this time I was sharing a room with 3 people at Esalen, I had a nasty case of poison oak, was on steroids, and I woke up one morning with my roommate meditating/growling in a chair right next to my bed. I really wanted to punch him in the face. I was OVER IT!
I woke up this morning with a conversation in my head. I was talking to an intelligent lady at Julia's wedding, who somewhat got in my face and said, how much evil do you need to know there is good in the world? I paused and was like, I don't need any. She really cracked me up-a compassionate vegan that hated the world and bawled at the beauty of the wedding ceremony.
I will never forget how she looked at me, when a preying mantis flew over Steve and Julia while they were rehearsing their vows and I immediately looked up the animal symbology and showed her the obvious cool meaning of the Universe and the preying mantis. She looked at me like I might be the most pitiful, dumbass on the planet. I knew right then and there we were going to be friends. It took me a few days to crack through her barriers and a lot of wine but eventually we connected and had fun. She told me some really cool information about Greek times. She got a PhD in philosophy and told me her mind is like a small house, in the sense she invested money in it. It gave me a different perspective on money and value.
I realize that my favorite moments this year were connecting with people, they weren't big things like going to Thailand or Australia, which were great and even there, connecting with people was the best part of those trips. Meeting Mark in Bangkok and hanging out with his mom in their grandmothers home, taking a bath from a bucket and getting an authentic Thai massage. Meeting a Canadian in my hostel in Chiang Mai and spending some quality time with a stranger. Seeing my dear friend Jhanna in Sydney, having her pick me up at the airport after weeks of not knowing anyone. Everyone should be greeted by Jhanna at the airport. She is the best greeter. Total warmth and overjoy. Then meeting new Australian friends through tennis.
So these last two years of roaming around America has had a strange effect on me. First of all, I have kind of fallen in love with this country. The mountains, mid west, desert, California, Big Sur. I really live in a great country and it has its problems, some of which I am part of.
Emotionally growing up shame and self hatred really permeated all of me to the point where I hated being American when I was younger. I realize now it wasn't just me, it is kind of a cultural thing.
I have different feelings now. I think our society has a shit ton of potential and I want to be part of it. Be the change! And I still want to be a rebellious renegade doing my own thing.
It looks like I am going to settle in Austin for a bit. I am proud to be my weird self.
Last year at this time I was sharing a room with 3 people at Esalen, I had a nasty case of poison oak, was on steroids, and I woke up one morning with my roommate meditating/growling in a chair right next to my bed. I really wanted to punch him in the face. I was OVER IT!
I woke up this morning with a conversation in my head. I was talking to an intelligent lady at Julia's wedding, who somewhat got in my face and said, how much evil do you need to know there is good in the world? I paused and was like, I don't need any. She really cracked me up-a compassionate vegan that hated the world and bawled at the beauty of the wedding ceremony.
I will never forget how she looked at me, when a preying mantis flew over Steve and Julia while they were rehearsing their vows and I immediately looked up the animal symbology and showed her the obvious cool meaning of the Universe and the preying mantis. She looked at me like I might be the most pitiful, dumbass on the planet. I knew right then and there we were going to be friends. It took me a few days to crack through her barriers and a lot of wine but eventually we connected and had fun. She told me some really cool information about Greek times. She got a PhD in philosophy and told me her mind is like a small house, in the sense she invested money in it. It gave me a different perspective on money and value.
I realize that my favorite moments this year were connecting with people, they weren't big things like going to Thailand or Australia, which were great and even there, connecting with people was the best part of those trips. Meeting Mark in Bangkok and hanging out with his mom in their grandmothers home, taking a bath from a bucket and getting an authentic Thai massage. Meeting a Canadian in my hostel in Chiang Mai and spending some quality time with a stranger. Seeing my dear friend Jhanna in Sydney, having her pick me up at the airport after weeks of not knowing anyone. Everyone should be greeted by Jhanna at the airport. She is the best greeter. Total warmth and overjoy. Then meeting new Australian friends through tennis.
So these last two years of roaming around America has had a strange effect on me. First of all, I have kind of fallen in love with this country. The mountains, mid west, desert, California, Big Sur. I really live in a great country and it has its problems, some of which I am part of.
Emotionally growing up shame and self hatred really permeated all of me to the point where I hated being American when I was younger. I realize now it wasn't just me, it is kind of a cultural thing.
I have different feelings now. I think our society has a shit ton of potential and I want to be part of it. Be the change! And I still want to be a rebellious renegade doing my own thing.
It looks like I am going to settle in Austin for a bit. I am proud to be my weird self.
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